SuperLife

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Here's something I've been thinking about recently ... how much is change affected by events or desire? Do you think that people are genuine about change internally, or do events dictate change within oneself? Personally, I believe that it's a mixture of both, but since change causes stress ... which is the human condition, I think that events have more of an influence on people initiating change. Desire is a powerful motivator, but since desire is internal, people are less inclined to act on desire alone.

Consider this: If you've ever been in a situation which mandates change, such as quitting smoking, is it because of a change in work policy at your place of employment, a rise in insurance premiums, or something like that, or is it because you know that smoking is dangerous? Or is it because your doctor told you that you have lung cancer? Or is it because you've just met the love of your life, who is a non-smoker? Or is it because of all those ads on tv?

How much control do we as human beings have over external factors determining our actions vs. self-imposed desire for change?

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We all know that we can't change people, or do we? Is this just another "catch phrase"? Most people have or have had someone in their life who tried to control their actions on a personal level, one way or another. Be it a parent, sibling, spouse, co-worker friend or acquaintance, most people have had to deal with someone who is a "control freak". So, has this person's actions or behavior initiated true change within yourself? Or has it caused strife within the relationship on any level?

This would fall under the classification of External Locus of Control, since this is outside of one's own desire for change. External Locus is not necessarily a bad thing, since it can be positive, but the phrase, "we can't change people" comes into play, does that phrase really have any merit whatsoever? This is what people like to say, in order to be "politically correct", but do they really believe it when they're saying it?

The human condition is to have control over people and events ... having order in the midst of the chaos called life. There are thousands of so called, "self help" books and such that tell us that it's okay to think and do whatever we choose, and conversely, there are thousands more which tell us the exact opposite, to exert your will over people to dictate how events will transpire in your life. Personally, I believe that the "golden rule" is how things should be done ... do unto others as you would have them do unto you ... to treat people how you would like to be treated. Too often, however, this is not the case. When someone treats you with some level of disrespect, they are surprised when they get the same level of disrespect in turn. You are not following their External Locus of Control. Thusly, there is conflict and stress. So, I've seen that the "golden rule", and the phrase, "we can't change people" are in direct conflict with the human condition. Basically, we say things in order to be thought of by others as being "Politically Correct", "Socially Tolerant" and such, when we don't really mean it! Ah, the Duality of Man ...
OOOOOOH this is scandalous! i like it. i think that we have complete control over our actions in an existensial viewpoint. if we keep our curiosity running and asking questions we can eventually delve up control. but there are many factors dismantling our control. say if we want to quit smoking but were addicted because "they" tell us so. that leaves it up to the external. but that as an imbalance leaves it up to "them" which is not how we create. the imbalance lies within ourselves so it is up to us to change ourselves back into balance. having a desire for change can certainly cause chage. but desire is flaccid in cases where external properties nuge us around. it all lies within the beings conscious awareness and or curiosity. that is the key to channeling the energy that desire holds. this book i'm reading by david pond has a great message in it. energy first, harmony second. in desire its easy to look at the end result.(or the harmony) if we leave the end to a void and focus on what we are doing with our energy and where we want it to go we can then be able to unconsciously control change. i believe its not about controling it though, but leaving it to the higher force of the universe, to give, love, and serve. change only exists in the mind, therefore one can only experience change internally. i dont believe we experience change externally because when we change for the external it goes about unnoticed. altho you are very correct. it is a mix a both. and it depends on the person and where they stand consciously in their mind in direct connection with outside influences or events. people do control other people. its fact. ive been a victim to change via a control freak. but when you let go of it. when you get your free will back. its liberating it just feels good. which is exactly what we are given on a deeep level. to choose whatever we want. we can choose consciously or unconsciously to be controlled. unconsciously is the worst. because we are being decieved. dark magic is at work and it is for horrible reasons. control is a very limited tool. limited to oneself and its creation and not to create within others(seeds are plantable but as long as its not knowingly able to sprout from a weakness or trait the person has rather knowledge and realization). thats for them and thier mind only. now consciously can be just as bad or better. because we can consciously allow change that isnt right for us, or we can be aware of the change and let patience calm us for further inspection as more events arise and unfold. funny you say duality of nature tho. its a bitch and can get the best of us. but mathematically i get that letting yourself go with whats socially acceptable is wilting your free will power(which the power of thought is in my mind the strongest) allowing change that isnt ment for you. by all means we learn from our mistakes best so changes are ment for us regardless. but constant universal change is the best kind as we see it in the trees, plants, earth, fire, water, seasons, and life in general. isnt our planet AMAZING?!?!?!
Scandalous? Wow, that's powerful ... I've never had someone describe one of my discussions as such, thusly, I have to reply ...

When you think about true change, of course, the ideal is for it to come from within. That is what humans aspire to, but rarely achieve. The classic case is war. People cannot grasp the concept that war is wrong, destructive, and ultimately, horrible for the human being as a species. Not to mention all of the plants, animals and such that inadvertently are destroyed as a direct result of war, with no say in it whatsoever. But, the human nature of the subject is to react to external locus in regards to what is ultimately self destructive, and react in kind.

The last time anyone has gotten into a heated, personal argument with another person, it eventually becomes personal. We try to say or do anything we can in order to hurt the other individual, be it via words, actions or media outlet. We want to make that person feel the pain that we have experienced as a direct result of their actions toward us. Misery loves company comes to mind. Under any other circumstances, such as the situation not existing in the first place, we would not take such action. We, as a species, would follow the "live and let live" philosophy. But, since our personal character is being attacked, we follow suit. This is external locus of control. It happens everyday. A supervisor, co-worker, family member, friend or even a complete stranger triggers an anger reaction within us to bring about sociopathic behavior.

Conversely, if the same situation happens with an individual who is truly enlightened, then they would then "turn the other cheek", so to speak. They would embrace their perceived enemy, demonstrate love, compassion, understanding, and ultimately, forgiveness for their actions, because they realize that there is some internal pain or conflict residing within that individual which causes them to lash out and cause pain to whomever is at their disposal ... at that particular moment when it is available to them. By doing that, and following through with the idiom, this is internal locus of control, because we can control our natural reactions to the "fight or flight" syndrome, and take the "higher path", for lack of a better term.

Basically, the way I see it, "Control" is a tool which people use on other people in order to make themselves feel safe within their own reality, whatever that may be. A bully is a bully because it makes them feel safe from others. A masochist is a masochist because it makes them feel safe from the chaos of life, to surrender control to the sadist. A pacifist is a pacifist because it makes them feel safe from being poisoned from the evils of life. An oppressed fighter, such as the individual for whom this holiday was named, is such as he is because his actions made him feel safe within his own realm of thinking ... it's what he truly believed in. The dichotomy is that he knew that his realm of thinking was placing him in imminent and unavoidable dangerous consequences. As such, he was murdered, which I believe is what he wanted, in order to make his ideals and philosophy immortal, and accessible to all who wanted to learn. While I agree with his philosophy, I do not agree with his methods, because he could have effected much more change in the human psyche were he alive today to continue to spread his message .... much like a certain person growing up in the now eternally turbulent Middle East some 2,000 years ago.

My point is, External Locus of Control has a much more profound influence on the human condition than Internal Locus of Control, because one feels "compelled" to act, rather that one thinking, "I should really do this, because of .... "

However, the Duality of Humanity is often put to the forefront, because of our inherit nature of preservation of self, rather than our inherit nature of preservation of the species. The truly great individuals in history are contrary to human nature of preservation of self. Such as, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Theresa, Jesus Christ, Albert Einstein, Mahatma Ghandi, Florence Nightingale, Abraham Lincoln, Malcolm X, Bob Marley, Leonardo Da Vinci, The Apostles Paul, Peter, Mark, Luke, and John, and all of the countless luminaries and inspirational people from whom we draw the best of our characteristic behavior. These people were the champions of Internal Locus of Control, and it is up to us, as students of these people, to evangelize and emancipate the masses from the tyranny of the External Locus. True change only comes from within, but only if anyone really believes it. This is all really easy to talk about on a world wide scale, but on an individual scale, much more complex and involved, because it involves one taking a step back and really examining their own priorities, and one's own self. That is where the challenge lies, to get this message out to everyone and hope that they actively participate to bring about world change. Just my humble opinion. Thank you so much for taking part in this discussion .... you have really powerful and effective things to say!

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